By Request: Dan at work is a fan of Tim Allen, and asked that I review this movie for him. He actually asked last holiday season, but re-issued his request with the release of this film's sequel. So hi, Dan!
Tim Allen plays Scott Calvin, a divorced toy maker who has trouble relating to his young son Charlie (played by Eric Lloyd). One Christmas Eve, when Charlie is visiting, he startles a man dressed in a Santa Claus suit, who then falls off the roof of Scott's townhouse. It looks like the man is dead. Scott rummages throught the suit to find some ID and finds a business card that says something to the effect of "If anything should happen to me, put on the suit -- the reindeer will know what to do." Of course, Scott, being the practical type, first refuses to do it, but seeing it as a chance to finally bond with his son ("You never do anything I want to do.") finally does. Little does he know how it will change his life.
By putting on the suit, Scott becomes subject to the "Santa Clause" -- meaning he is the new Santa Claus. What follows is a year in which Scott must prepare to take on the role of Kris Kringle, which he first rejects. However, he soon embraces the prospect, and let's just say this is a movie that has to be seen to be fully appreciated.
One thing that I liked about this movie is that it addressed a lot of the "how can Santa x if y is true?" questions we all asked as kids. (For example, we never had a chimney in any of our apartments or mobile homes growing up, yet Santa still managed to visit us.) Another thing I liked about the movie was the cast. Tim Allen was a good choice for the role of Santa. His "Men are pigs" grunt is easily converted into a Santa belly laugh. But let's not forget the supporting cast.
Wendy Crewson plays Scott's ex-wife Laura, and Judge Reinhold is her new husband, Dr Neal Miller, whose specialty just happens to be psychology. The one that steals the show, though, is David Krumholtz as Bernard, the head elf at the pole. Trying to juggle the day-to-day operations of the Workshop and the obvious cynicism of the man who should be Santa, his character is probably the most fun to watch.
The whole movie is fun to watch, really, from Neal trying to psychoanalyze Scott, to Laura struggling with her love for Charlie and thinking that Scott might be too dangerous. From Scott trying to reject the notion of the Santa Clause, to all of the evidence that tells him he must fulfill his obligation. It's a family movie that's not as heavy-handed in its portrayal of family values as some other family films tend to be. There are lessons to be learned here, but I never felt we were bludgeoned over the head with them.
This is a good holiday movie that I make a point to watch every holiday season. It's fun, it possesses a lot of holiday spirit, and it has that warm and gooey feeling that leaves a smile on your face every time I watch it.
This movie is rated PG, but is suitable for most audiences.
SCORE: 7 -- A fun family movie with enough laughs, enough warmth, and enough charm to make me keep coming back for more. You will believe in Santa Claus after this movie. Recommended!
By Request -- Hi again, Dan!
You'd better watch out! Tim Allen is back as Scott Calvin (better known to kids throughout the world as Santa Claus), and he knows who's naughty and who's nice! For eight years he has been the best Santa the elves at the North Pole have ever known. Production is up, and dissatisfaction is at an all-time low. Things are fun!
Unfortunately, an elf named Curtis (Spencer Breslin of The Kid), who knows all the rules and regulations, has been keeping a secret from Santa. A secret that could destroy Christmas. You see, when Scott put on the Santa Suit all those years ago, he became subject to not only the SANTA Clause, but another clause -- The Missus Clause. Scott has to get married, and he needs to get married by Christmas Eve. If he doesn't, he will cease to be Santa!
As if that weren't enough, the elves discover that Scott's son Charlie has made it to the naughty list this year. What is a father whose busiest time of the year is fast approaching to do?
Curtis has the answer: A Santa Clone! While Scott is off trying to help his son (and hopefully land a wife), the toy Santa will run the workshop, and all will work out wonderfully! Right? Not likely. The pseudo Claus likes the rules so much that he decides to adhere very strictly to them. He tightens the reins at the North Pole and holds the children of the world to such high standards that no child can hope to get anything but coal for Christmas!
Can Scott save his son, get married, and rescue the elves from the clutches of the evil Santa before it's too late, or will Christmas be doomed forever?
My, how time flies when you're watching all kinds of movies! It has been eight years since 1994's The Santa Clause, and much of the original cast is back, I'm relieved to report. In addition to Tim Allen, there is Eric Lloyd as Charlie, Wendy Crewson as Laura and Judge Reinhold as Dr Neal Miller -- of course, David Krumholtz is back as Bernard -- the ONLY elf to return, obviously, as the kids playing the elves in the original went and grew up as kids are prone to do.
Speaking of which: Eric Lloyd -- the last time I saw him was Dunston Checks In, while he was still a cute little miniature munchkin, and now he's a teenager. Talk about temporal shock! (I think he was on a television series with Christina Applegate, but I never managed to watch it.) Some people are etched in memory one way, and time proves memory not to be founded in reality. (Translation -- I feel old.)
Anyhow, I liked this movie just as much as its predecessor. It expanded on the universe that was introduced and explained still more "Santa discrepancies" (such as how no one has ever found the workshop up at the north pole), while providing more warms and gooeys... even if the laughs don't come as often as the original. (Though when they do come, they are guffaws. I love, for example, reindeer-in-training Chet.)
Tim Allen had a lot of fun, not only as Santa, but as the doppelganger as well. If he hadn't been having so much fun in these roles, this movie would not have been nearly as good. In every interaction, whether with a walk-on elf or his ex-wife and her husband, or his son, Allen's presence is such that he is enjoying every moment of this movie. (Some might argue that, as the Santa replacement, he had a little too much fun in the role.)
The council meeting between the various mythical characters was a hoot too -- it was a who's who of B-list actors, from Star Trek's Michael Dorn as Sandman to Kevin Pollack as Cupid. Another aspect that I truly enjoyed was the fact that the final confrontation between Santa and his "evil twin" had lines that were thrown in just for me! At one point "Toy Santa" tells Santa, "You are a sad, strange little man." -- a line spoken by Allen in the "Toy Story" movies. (A fun connection to make would be the time he said it in Toy Story 2 -- a "fake" Buzz saying that to the "real" Buzz... just like in this situation. No, I do not over-analyze movies, I just get a huge kick out of noticing things like this!)
Guess what else in this movie is predictable, besides the whole ending? The woman Scott will decide to pursue! (Though I guess I wasn't really paying attention, maybe still in temporal shock or something.) As soon as lazy-t (my movie-going partner) saw how well Scott and principal Carol (played by Elizabeth Mitchell), they were destined to fall in love. Whatever, sez I. It does, however, cause friction between Scott and Charlie, which is always nice to see. From a dramatic standpoint, at least.
And last but not least, let's not forget little Liliana Mumy (Bill's daughter, methinks) as Laura and Neal's cute daughter Lucy, who suspects all along that Scott is really Santa Claus. She doesn't have a lot of screen time, but she's adorable nonetheless. (Of course, I'm really going to feel old when I see her as a teenager in a movie somewhere down the line.)
The Santa Clause 2 doesn't tread any particularly new territory, but instead adds to the mythos of Santa and his elves in such a way that we see him in a new light without completely shattering the images we were fed as children ourselves. Thanks to Disney and Tim Allen, I still believe in Santa Claus.
This movie is rated G. It is suitable for all audiences.
SCORE: 7 -- Another fine feature from Disney. While the middle portions drag a bit as the romance begins, the premise is solid and the execution is a joy to watch. More heartfelt lessons are learned, and the mythology that is Santa Claus is preserved for a new generation to enjoy. Recommended!
You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this movie.
About fifteen years ago (more or less), I read a little blurb in a comic book I'd bought that made me salivate: A Spider-Man movie was "in the works". About three years later, I got heavily into comic collecting, and every time I turned around, "Here's an update on the upcoming Spider-Man movie." Lots of updates, but still no movie.
Then the unthinkable happened: The company that was going to make the movie went belly-up. Suddenly, the rights to make the movie were in dispute, and my hope for ever seeing a halfway decent Spidey movie were all but dashed.
Two years ago (more or less), I picked up my Entertainment Weekly magazine, and lo and behold! Sony (parent company of Columbia Pictures) had won the lengthy legal battle, and Spider-Man had been green lighted! Sadly, director James Cameron had moved on with his life and was now unavailable to make our favorite wall-crawler come to life.
Flash forward to two nights ago. Midnight. Spider-Man, starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, and James Franco, unfolded upon a big screen. All for me. Well, me and the entire packed auditorium (as well the other two packed auditoriums at the Alamo Drafthouse).
Maguire stars as Peter Parker, a nerdy high school student whose idea of a good time is proving the Pythagorean Theorem three different ways. Orphaned at a young age, he's lived with his Aunt May (Rosemary Harris) and Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson) for most of his life. He's not a popular kid by any definition of the word, and even his next door neighbor Mary Jane Watson (Dunst), whom Peter has had a crush on forever, barely even knows he's alive.
On a school field trip to a genetics lab, Peter is bitten by a genetically enhanced spider. Before long, he discovers he has abilities similar to the ones described at the lab: He can jump incredible distances, sense approaching danger, stick to walls -- he can even secrete his own webbing!
Right away, Peter decides to use these newfound abilities to make a few bucks, so he enters a contest: Stay in the ring with some big masher brute of a wrestler for a full three minutes, get $3,000. Shortly after that particular exhibition, he lets a robber escape after stealing all the money from the wrestling office. When the owner confronts him about it, Peter (still mad about getting stiffed on the contest award) tells the guy it's not his problem.
Okay, I better stop now before I get carried away and describe the whole movie, shot for shot. Besides, if you know the character like I do, you already knew this part of the story. Suffice it to say that Peter has to learn the hard way the one lesson his Uncle Ben has always tried to teach him: "With great power comes great responsibility."
So thus Peter Parker becomes Spider-Man, my (and many others') favorite super hero of all time.
I'll go ahead and go on record here by saying that this movie was so very right in so very many ways. When Sam Raimi was announced as director, I was a little concerned. After all, this is the guy that did the Evil Dead movies, and The Quick and the Dead. What could he possibly know about Spidey? Thank you, Mr. Raimi for proving me wrong. He took David Koepp's script and made magic.
Maguire is Spider-Man! He's the geeky nerd that I remember Peter being, and he has that "cute boy next door" look that also seems to fit Peter. He also went through some weight training to "beef up" for the role, and that was awesome. I think I'm probably one of the few people that jumped up and down for joy when Tobey got the role. Considering some of the other "hopefuls" that wanted the role (Leonardo DiCaprio, who is a fine actor but would have been completely wrong for the part; Freddie Prinze, Jr., who doesn't have enough geek to convince me he's Peter Parker; and Wes Bentley, who resembles Tobey a little, but seems too brooding -- of course, I've only seen him in American Beauty, so that probably clouded my perception there), I was afraid the casting of this movie would be WAY off.
I also admit to concern in the choice of Green Goblin as the villain. Now, I understand that for a first movie in any super-franchise, you have to use the "quintessential" villain. Superman's Lex Luthor, Batman's Joker, Blade's Deacon Frost, X-Men's Magneto. Still, no matter how "ultimate" he is, Green Goblin has never really impressed me much. Thank you, Willem Dafoe, for pulling off such a wonderful -- and interesting -- Goblin. (I was particularly impressed with the scene in front of the mirror.)
Being a Spider-Man fan for as long as I can remember, I was so ready to nit-pick everything about this movie, before even seeing it. (Even in spite of my personal policy not to compare movies with their source material.) I didn't like the idea of Spidey developing a "web gland", because I was afraid that not having him develop his web shooters might undermine how intelligent Peter is supposed to be. Still, it's such a minor thing that didn't detract from the total coolness of the character, that I was very easily able to let it go. (Plus, it gave a few good comic moments as Peter tried to figure out how his web gland worked.)
If you're a rabid Spidey fan, I truly feel you won't be disappointed. Heck, I'm a rabid Spidey fan, and I've been telling everyone how much it so very rocks. I'll be seeing this one again in a few weeks.
This movie is rated PG-13 for stylized violence and action. (Especially the fighting between Spidey and the Goblin. Owch!)
SCORE: 9.5 -- This movie is everything I hoped it would be, and nothing I was afraid it would. Dafoe is perfect as Norman Osborn / Green Goblin, and Tobey... well, I can say I was right and all the naysayers were wrong. I'm very much looking forward to each and every sequel -- and I hope there will be many! Most highly recommended!
A mere six months of real-life time later, a movie was released featuring the entire Next Generation cast. That movie proved to me, once and for all, that Paramount and Executive Producer Rick Berman are all insane. They canceled a television series (the single-most popular science fiction series on the air, by the way) in order to make a movie of the same thing. Why? In the case of Classic Trek, I understand it. It was a series that was before its time, and a few years later, with the fans still clamouring for Star Trek, they decided to see how a movie would do. But with Next Gen, it was like, "Let's see if the rabid popularity of the TV show will translate to the film market." Whatever. All I'm saying is that I would have preferred three more years of Next Gen, and then started talking about movies.
Okay, now that I have my "Cancelation rant" out of the way, Generations is a movie which officially "passed the torch" from the Original series crew to the Next Generation crew. At the launching ceremony of the Enterprise-B, Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner), Montgomery Scott (James Doohan), and Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig) are all there to bear witness. It's the third ship named Enterprise, the first that has not been captained by James Kirk. Is a media frenzy.
When a pair of Klingon ships call for help, it is the Enterprise's responsibility to answer the call, despite the fact that all of its technology won't be installed until Tuesday. The ships are caught in some kind of energy ribbon, and it's a matter of minutes before their structural integrity is compromised (can you say explosion?). The new captain (Alan Ruck) is at a loss for what to do. James Kirk to the rescue!!
It's a brilliant plan, but it gets the Enterprise caught in the ribbon. Kirk rushes down to a lower deck (Engineering?) to release some kind of something to cause an explosion and free them from the gravimetric field! Wow golly gee! He succeeds, but at great cost: a tendril of energy sideswipes the Enterprise -- right where Kirk is -- and Kirk is lost, presumed dead.
Eighty some-odd years later, another ship named Enterprise receives a distress call, which brings Picard (Patrick Stewart), Riker (Jonathan Frakes), Data (Brent Spiner), and all the rest of the Next Generation gang face to face with that same energy ribbon, now dubbed The Nexus. An evil El Aurian scientist named Soran (Malcolm McDowell) was one of the survivors on one of the Klingon Ships, and the pull of the Nexus is now so great that he will kill thousands -- millions -- billions of people to get back to it. We discover that Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg!!), the Enterprise-D's El Aurian bartender, was also one of those survivors.
Stuff happens, things blow up, all characterization is left back in TV-land, where (I suppose) Berman thinks it belongs, and we have a Star Trek movie.
All right. I loved the movie. I admit it. Data had some serious funny going on from the (relative) beginning, when he pushed Beverly (Gates McFadden) into the water. He thought it would be funny. When his joke backfired, he decided to use the emotion chip he'd gotten from one of the TV episodes -- with hilarious results.
The action was Star Trek movie quality. (I'd like to note here, that while I've never enjoyed the original Television series with Kirk and crew, I've always managed to enjoy the 4 out of 6 movies I've seen. The two I haven't seen yet are reported to be the franchise's weakest, so I'm not in a big hurry to.) The effects were nicely done -- especially the pulsating energy ribbon called the Nexus.
Here's what I didn't like: Now that TNG (That's trekkie talk for The Next Generation) has gone to movies, it'll suffer from TOS (The Original Series) syndrome -- it'll all focus on the "big three", in this case Picard, Riker, and Data. Some of our favorite characters will be seen only marginally (like Beverly's entire appearance being comprised of falling into the water and later telling Geordi his heart'll be just fine). With a TV show, some of the episodes focused on some of the other characters, and I just don't see that happening with the movie franchise. As stated earlier, with the movies being more action-oriented, characterization gets put on a back-burner. Oh sure, Data got some "growth" out of it, but seriously, his "growth" was mere comic relief.
And the very biggest problem I had with the movie (which is not, in itself a problem with the movie, but more inside my void where most people have brains) -- TIME TRAVEL PARADOX TYPE STUFF!!!!! (Time has no meaning in the Nexus -- that's all I'm gonna say about it.)
Still, with all the things I didn't like about it, they were all things that didn't occur to me until after the movie was over and I actually thought about it. Also, each time I watch the movie now, they don't seem that important until it ends. So yeah, I still love Generations.
This movie is rated PG for mild violence and language.
SCORE: 8 -- Being a fan of TNG really helped. It was a good story, with cool effects and even a bit of action. It's what Star Trek movies have come to be, even though some of the best TV episodes have had no action in it at all. Still, a movie-going audience expects more, I guess. Recommended for Star Trek fans.
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That is, until First Contact.
Apparently, the Borg have had it up to their electronic ears with the human race, and they've launched an all-out assault on planet earth. Starfleet, already hurting from the war with the Dominion (See television show Deep Space Nine for details), has pulled all available resources to defend the homeworld. All, that is, except for the Enterprise. And why not the Enterprise? See "The Best of Both Worlds". Picard's (Patrick Stewart) assimilation. He's "too close" to the situation.
So, like any good captain, Picard disobeys orders and heads to the battlefield -- and promptly destroys the attacking cube. But what's this circle thing?? Oh no, a Sphere! And it's doing some kind of Chronometric particle thingy... going back in time, in other words. Picard and crew follow. They blow up the sphere -- and are promptly overrun with Borg.
Meanwhile, they've discovered they're at a point in earth's history where the legendary Zefram Cochrane (James Cromwell) is about to make his historic first warp-speed flight. So like any good captain, Picard breaks the Temporal Prime Directive and helps out.
So, in a two-fold storyline, we have one part of the crew trying to wipe out the Borg from the Enterprise, and another part of the crew trying to make sure Cochrane (who has cold feet) makes that flight. We got it? Good.
Some changes have occurred. For one, it's the Enterprise-E, our beloved D having been destroyed at the end of Generations (a fact I didn't mention in that movie's review). Geordi now has some kind of ocular implant, so the VISOR has been eighty-sixed. He looks weird with eyes. (Heck, I have a hard time watching LeVar Burton on Reading Rainbow without picturing a long golden line across his face.) The comedy factor was turned down in favor of a darker tone (though there were still a few funny sequences, like Deanna (Marina Sirtis) getting drunk.)
These changes are okay. I can deal. But the mother of all changes... The most unacceptable change in the history of Trek changes...
**SPOILER WARNING**
A fricken fracken sassafrassin moocowcheesensteinheadian Borg QUEEN!!!!! [Insert screaming in frustration sound effect here.]
They've turned the most dreaded, evil, "one mind" race -- deadly because what one knows they all know due to the "collective" -- into a blasted colony of ANTS!!! [Insert more screaming.]
I kept hoping Picard would pull out his magnifying glass, I swear! [More grumbling before reviewer continues with review.]
**End Spoiler**
Riker (Jonathan Frakes) takes the directorial reigns in this film, and does admirably well. The action sequences are incredibly intense, and the dramatic tension between Picard and Lilly Sloane (Alfre Woodard) in his ready room is... wow. I enjoyed it as a film outside of the Trek legacy.
However, as Trek, there were things about it I just couldn't swallow. Aside from the Spoiler complaint, the notion that Picard and Riker and crew would risk tampering with such an important event in history was beyond astonishing. It was just ludicrous! (You see, the warp signature of Cochrane's ship was detected by some Vulcans, which led to Earth's first true extraterrestrial contact.) If anything had gone wrong, Starfleet may very well have ceased to exist -- which would have brought in another of those paradox things I hate so much in time travel stories. They'll argue that the Borg attack had damaged the Phoenix (Cochrane's ship), and that they were just repairing the damage... but I think they were damaging the timeline even further by all the interaction. What do I know?
Still, for all my whinings and mutterings (and screamings), it was an exciting movie, and I still watch it occasionally (remembering to shut off my "Trek" brain before doing so).
This movie is rated PG-13 for sci-fi related adventure violence. (The Borg are plain ugly, too!)
SCORE: (As an action movie) 8 / (As Star Trek) 6 -- There are certain changes you cannot make and expect everyone to swallow them. The nature of the beast is one of them. Berman and company thought it would be a "revelation", but I call it yuck. That aside, though, it was a good adventure story, with a ton of action, and some internal conflicts which led to external ones. I seriously believed in Picard's motivations, and throw that many more kudos in Patrick Stewart's direction. On the fence as far as recommendation goes. If you love the Borg as much as I did, you'll hate what they've done. If you just want a movie with a lot of action, then by all means, I recommend it.
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Once again, Jonathan Frakes directs, and what a movie it is! It starts out with Data (Brent Spiner) malfunctioning and attacking Starfleet personnel. Picard (Patrick Stewart) is called in to stop him. Suddenly, the Enterprise crew is entangled in a political struggle for control of a planet. The inhabitants, the Ba'ku, are former members of a technologically advanced society who have given up the technology in favor of the beauty of this planet they've found themselves inhabiting. Also, there's something in the atmosphere that inhibits the aging process. Yes, Starfleet has found a Fountain of Youth, and they're willing to break the Prime Directive to obtain it. In league with a race called the So'na (who have the technology to harness the planet's youth-positive properties, but doing so will destroy the planet), they have plotted and planned -- and now Picard is in the middle.
I loved nearly everything about this movie. It had humor. It had references to the characters' pasts (Deanna (Marina Sirtis) and Riker (Frakes) rekindle their romance). It had all the qualities that made me love the television show. However, it suffered -- again -- from the Big Three syndrome. Beverly (Gates McFadden) was almost nowhere to be seen, and Geordi (LeVar Burton) got only a few minutes in the spotlight too. Some of the funniest lines came from Worf (Michael Dorn), whose presence was not explained as it was in First Contact (some time after Generations, Worf was stationed at Deep Space Nine). Data had a few good zingers, too, as he explored his humanity through a young boy (Michael Welch) and the games children play.
The progression of the story built very nicely, and culminated in a face-off reminiscent of Picard's battle against Soran in Generations. F. Murray Abraham was an excellent villain in this film, and Donna Murphy was a wonderful love-interest for Picard.
This movie reminded me of why Picard was the good guy, and everyone else are the bad guys. It smacked of "Conspiracy" from early in the TV show, and the various "human exploration" episodes Data got. There were some nice "love story" elements, and then there was a Wrath of Khan-esque battle between the Enterprise and the So'na vessel as Riker raced to get a clear communications path and warn the Federation of the So'na plot. Unlike First Contact, Insurrection worked as both an adventure movie and as a Star Trek movie.
This movie is rated PG for mild violence, language, and sensuality. (Oh yeah, a kissing scene or two. Whatever. Unless they mean the bathtub scene.)
SCORE: 9 -- A return to true TNG! Character development, humor, action, conspiracy, plot twists, and a good Star Trek time! And best of all, no time travel! Highly recommended, especially for TNG fans!
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It begins very subtlely, and, some might argue, hypocritically, with a dissertation on how Hollywood seems to mass-produce tripe with little to no socially redeeming value whatever. Travolta then proceeds to walk across the street, an army of guns aimed at his head, into a bank, where he is holding hostages wired to massive amounts of explosives. We are then treated to a brief pyrotechnic display, in computer-enhanced 3-D slow-motion.
Backtrack a few days to the events leading up to this incredible hostage situation (as the bank robbery is actually the lead-in to the climax), and we meet convicted computer hacker Stanley Jobson (Wolverine! Um, I mean Hugh Jackman). It seems that a powerful criminal terrorist type (Gabriel Shear, played by Travolta) wants to meet with him, and Gabriel has sent the luciously beautiful Ginger (Storm! Daggit, I mean Halle Berry) to retrieve him. Our poor hacker friend has lost everything due to his conviction -- his wife, his daughter, his life, just about; he lives in squallor, works in a nothing job, with no prospects for the future. Let this be a lesson to all you hackers out there. Crime doesn't pay, but actual work pays even less. (Uh, forget I said that.)
Gabriel wants to hire Stanley to create a computer virus and steal a large sum of money electronically. Stanley reluctantly agrees, because he sees this as the only way to make enough money (Ten million bucks) to even begin to get his daughter back. (One of many skim-overs of the movie -- how could this money help when he makes nothing? Oh, wait, no one would suspect anything if he suddenly has all these high-priced lawyers working his case.. silly me.) Pure motives, bad decision. Stanley finds himself caught up in a conspiracy with many angles, twists, and a chase scene or two.
Now, I didn't hate this movie. I did find myself wondering what was going to happen next, what new revelations were going to rear their ugly heads and further loosen the already weak grip I had on the plot. When they finally got around to the action, it was edge-of-the-seat style, for the most part. The explosions were big and loud. Halle Berry showed up topless in one scene (and personally that was a high point -- which is not a good thing, particularly).
The problem I had with this movie was that it was too slow. It was marketed as an "action" movie, and yet it had very little action. You see, many of the better action movies are 75% action, with a few scenes placed strategically to allow the audience to catch its collective breath. This movie seemed to be 80% breathing, with a few action scenes thrown in almost as an afterthought.
I can't even say this movie works as a "suspense thriller", as there was very little to be in suspense about. There were no subtleties, and while twists are a good thing, I do wish just once they wouldn't telegraph the discovery of a tertiary charcter's death the way they did here. Vital to the plot? Okay, I'll give 'em that, but typical and standard execution, we can do without.
Travolta pulls out his Nicholas Cage imitation (in a reprise of his Face/Off character) as Gabriel, Berry's Ginger is a throwback to Miss Sharon Stone in The Flintstones. Jackman, for his part, managed to put Wolverine away, but still throws out that evil stare when not looking like a lost puppy.
For all the hype and promises (and in spite of its #1 position at the box office opening weekend), Swordfish delivers about half of what I hoped it would -- and that includes a Usual Suspects-esque ending. Overall, though, it's a disappointment, because this movie had the potential to be so much more than it was.
This movie is rated R for violence, language, sexuality and nudity.
SCORE: 6.5 -- I tried to love this movie. It's a techno-action-thriller that, for a few moments actually delivers on the promised action. Unfortunately, those moments are slow in the coming, and end too quickly -- except during the chase scene, where it couldn't end soon enough. Travolta's subpar streak, I'm sorry to report, continues with this one. Not Recommended
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The beauty of not being a professional "critic" is that I can enjoy the cheesy stuff right along with the kids! Here's a newsflash for the critics out there: This movie was not made for you! This movie by Nickelodeon Films (which should be a big clue right there) was made for people under the age of 12. That I had fun watching it should actually evoke a panic style reaction from me. Maybe I'm just in touch with my inner child. (Maybe Peter Pan ain't got nuthin on me?) Anyway, that's an issue for my therapist.
Snow Day is a cute little movie about the joys of freak snowstorms and the effects on the school system -- in other words, no school. The movie follows the exploits of one family during just such a day -- Dad (Chevy Chase) is meteorologist Tom Brandston, the joke of local news. Mom (Jean Smart) is successful businesswoman Laura Brandston, a woman who can't let her cell phone ring (and keep ringing) through one meal. Big Brother (Matt Webber) Hal is a puppylovestruck sap who doesn't see what's right in front of him. And our hero is Natalie (Zena Grey), whose fun is 86'd by the evil "Snowplow Man" (Chris Elliot) -- the bane of Snow Days everywhere. Once the roads are plowed, school will open again, and the kids will not get a second snow day. (Horrors!) Will Natalie succeed, or are the kids doomed to yet another single snow day?
For any child who has ever had a snow day, you'll be able to relate to Nat. While you'll enjoy the day you get, you long for just one more. In Natalie's case, there has "never" been two snow days in a row, and she's determined that this will be the year. She and her friends cook up a scheme to stop the Snowplow Man in his plowed tracks! Meanwhile, Hal is trying to woo the girl of his dreams during this oh so magical day, all the while forgetting that this girl already has a boyfriend. Can he win her heart?
Mommy Laura has a big meeting with some Asian corporation to get a "marketshare" (whatever that is), but she's been snowed in -- so she must stay home with Baby Brandston. But -- (*insert triumphant music here*) -- Telecommunications makes a work day still possible! (I'm telling you, this woman is obsessed!) Will she land this big deal and make mega bucks for her company?
And Dad? Well he's Chevy Chase. Do I really need to elaborate?
Roger Ebert, Leonard Maltin, Gene Shallit, and all you other critics out there... Chill out. Relax. Sit back and enjoy a movie once in awhile, instead of always looking for a hidden meaning to every little nuance. (NOTE: I have not actually read any reviews of this movie by these people, so if any specifically named actually had positive things to say about Snow Day, I apologize for assuming otherwise.)
Yes, the movie is formulaic. You know exactly how it's going to end, and what developments will happen even before they do. Yes, Chevy Chase should have hung up his comedy hat many, many years ago. (I'm sorry, Chevy -- I've always been a fan, but enough is enough, man!) Yes, there is nothing in this movie that screams "Original!" And yes, in its desperate attempt to pander to juvenile humor, there are even fart jokes that aren't funny.
But that's not the point.
And that's what makes the movie fun.
This movie is rated PG for mild peril and language. (Peril? Okay, if MPAA says so.)
SCORE: 6 -- Silly, illogical, irrational, sappy, and just plain fun. Recommended for kids, and kids-at-heart.
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That last example was, in fact, a one-line representation of Shrek, a computer-animated film in the tradition of Toy Story, Antz, and A Bug's Life. With the voice talents of Mike Meyers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, and John Lithgow, Shrek is a grab-bag of action, humor, and romance -- for kids and adults alike. (In fact, some of the humor is rather adult-oriented, and not for the extremely wee ones.)
A petite-in-stature lord named Farquaad (Lithgow) has had it up to his eyeballs with "fairy tales" and banishes all of the characters to the swamp. Unfortunately, this is where Shrek (Myers) lives, and he likes to be alone. Also unfortunately, after having rescued a talking donkey (Murphy) from some of Farquaad's guards, alone is something he is not. So to get rid of all these critters (to hopefully include Donkey), he goes to talk to Farquaad. He makes a deal with the micro monarch (HA! I kill me!): If Shrek can rescue Princess Fiona (Diaz) from a dragon so that Farquaad can marry her, Shrek will get his swamp back.
One of the things I liked about this movie was its references, first to the various fairy tales, and later to other movies -- even taking an unintentional cue from A Knight's Tale in an anachronistic choice of sporting events. Another plus was the use of puns, though I'll admit the donkey humor wore thin after awhile -- there are only so many "ass" jokes you can use before they become stale. Still, there was very little "kiddie" humor, which often means "fart jokes". (Okay, I caught a few of those, too, but for the most part, the humor was verbal.)
There's a moral to the story as well. Part of it is that if you're going to eavesdrop on a conversation that is not meant for you, make sure you know the whole story before confronting the person/people with what you heard. Otherwise, you can make a fool of yourself and cause yourself much pain and misery. (Also, communication is essential if you want to build and maintain any type of relationship with someone.) The other part of the lesson would be too much of a spoiler, but I'm sure you'll recognize it when you see it.
While this is not the best animated movie I have ever seen, it is still one I enjoyed quite a bit, and I will probably buy it when it comes to video. Now the tough choice will be VHS or DVD? I have time to think about it, I think.
This movie is rated PG for mild language and some crude humor.
SCORE: 7.5 -- Though I'm not a great fan of any of the four stars of the movie, the story was typical, and some of the jokes were a little on the iffy side, it's still a fun movie with a good lesson and some pretty cool characters. Eddie Murphy's wise-cracking Donkey steals the show as he and Shrek (and later the princess) have their adventures. Recommended.
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It is 1799. In the small town of Sleepy Hollow, a nightmare legend has come to life. A headless horseman, seeking a new cranium. A magistrate from New York has come to solve the mystery and stop the killings. A firm believer in logic and reason, the obvious explanation -- a ghost -- is an unacceptable suspect to him, and he is determined to discover the flesh and blood killer. Johnny Depp is Ichabod Crane, said magistrate. His "newfangled" methods of detective work are put to the test as he tries to find out just what is happening. (A note: For a man so intent that these methods be used, he's awfully squeamish in using them.)
From Tim Burton, director of Edward Scissorhands and Beetlejuice, this is semi-new territory for him. He seems to work mostly in comedy or action with a macabre twist. This movie seems determined to be a horror movie. Unfortunately, it's too much a mystery story to pass for one. Oh, sure, you have the "sudden jump" scares and rather large amounts of gore, but I found that the mystery aspect of the movie was much more engrossing.
Depp, who has worked with Burton before, seemed in his element. With a suave manner about him and a halfway decent British accent (in fact, most of the accents are pretty good), manages to balance the obvious scaredy-cat in Crane with the hero Crane must become to solve the crime. He is really an underrated actor.
Likewise, I was endeared by Christina Ricci, who plays Katrina Van Tassel. She carried a gentleness that has gone against most of the roles I've seen her in (Addams Family springs immediately to mind). The only thing that was off about the character, and this is no fault of Ricci's, is the attempted love-interest aspect between Katrina and Ichabod. It didn't work for me, due to some of the circumstances surrounding it.
Special effects crews deserve a hefty round of applause. The decapitations were very well done. In most movies with on-screen decaps, you don't get to see the reactions of horror 1/100th of a second before the blade slices the head from its shoulders. You might get a reaction shot, a cut-away to the sword, and then an obvious mannequin head being chopped off an obvious mannequin body. Here, however, digital effects allow for us to see the horseman coming up behind his victim and watch the face as the horseman lops off his or her head. It was brilliant!
The mystery was also adequately complex. Not so convoluted that you wonder what's happening to whom, yet not so simplistic as to offer NO twists. Even some early objections were answered -- such as why the horseman spared Ichabod in one encounter, when it seemed to have been established early on that no witnesses ever survived. (A good explanation, too.)
It's a good movie -- one which would be most effective watched in a theater, but not something that, if you miss it, to lose your head over. (*groan* -- but I HAD to do that!)
This movie is rated R for graphic violence and sexuality. Not suitable for younger children.
SCORE: 8 -- Though not very faithful to Washington Irving's story, it is still a fun spook-fest that's sure to make you laugh as much as you cringe. (Look especially for an item at the very beginning of the film that will just scream out "Nightmare Before Christmas!"... Recommended!
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I have to wonder what the Catholic Church is going to think of this.
Patricia Arquette and Gabriel Byrne star in a film about an atheist girl who begins to receive "The Stigmata" (the five wounds of Christ -- nails in the wrists, lashes on the back, cuts from the Crown of Thorns on the head, nails in the feet, spear in the side), and the scientist / priest who must investigate the phenomenon... and hopefully prove it to be false.
The movie opens with Father Andrew Kiernan (Byrne) investigating a church in Central America, where a statue of the Virgin Mary seems to be crying tears of blood. The priest at that church has just recently died. (Seemingly, this is just to set up Andrew's character and what his purpose in the film is, but these events come back into play later.)
Frankie Paige (Arquette) is a hairdresser in Pittsburgh whose life is "okay". She has a semi-steady boyfriend, her mother is always travelling (no hassles there), and she can go out and party any time she wants, because -- well, because she can. Oh yeah, and she "might" be pregnant. When a package arrives from her mother (who just happens to have been visiting the town Father Andrew was in and bought a rosary that was just stolen from the body of the dead priest), odd things begin to happen.
Odd? Terrifying, is more like it.
Holes suddenly appear in Frankie's wrists out of nowhere while she's taking a bath. She is rushed to the emergency room, where a counselor asks why she tried to kill herself. She begins to hallucinate. Her customers at the salon begin to see other 'dressers. She's attacked by an unseen force on a subway train and lashes appear on her back. (Tell her that one is self inflicted!)
Father Andrew is sent to investigate this. When he finds out she is an atheist, he feels the case is closed -- Stigmatics are always highly religious. Before he knows what's hit him, he's embroiled in a battle for Frankie's life -- her soul, even. What could possibly be happening to her that makes her speak and write in a long-forgotten language, a language from the time of Christ Himself? What deep, dark secret could scare the Vatican so much, that they're willing to take this girl's life?
For that, you'll have to go see the movie. For me, this movie watched much like a 90's version of The Omen or The Exorcist -- not to imply that it's incredibly scary (The Exorcist was atrociously bad, in my opinion -- and don't bother sending me hate mail now!), but that it's incredibly religion-based. Yes, there are some intense visual images involved, some of which *do* relate to The Crucifixion. Sudden jump scares are aplenty here, too. But the movie is about this girl, and the message she has been intended to deliver to the world. A message that could shake the very foundation of religion around the world.
Did I like it? You betcha! Would I watch it again? Absolutely! I loved Arquette and her struggles with this whole situation. I loved the intensity in which each Stigmatic attack was portrayed. I liked that Frankie didn't seem aware of half of her actions. (One contradiction flew out at me, though... At one point, the "voice" within Frankie told Father Andrew that "The messenger is not important." Later, he bellowed that the messenger had to be strong in faith. Well? Which is it?) I agree -- that was AWFULLY nitpicky of me. 
Stigmata is not for the squeamish. And it's also not for the easily-offended. (I see the possibility of a controversy, quite frankly.) Still and all, it's a wild ride that I plan to take again.
This movie is rated R for intense violence and violent images, language, and thematic elements.
SCORE: 8 -- (I'm using this word too much, but...) an INTENSE look at religion in general and Catholicism in particular, Stigmata will startle, scare, jolt, and maybe even offend you... but it will definitely make you think. Recommended!
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"I see dead people." With those four whispered words, young Haley Joel Osment drew me to the theater to watch yet another ghost story. Part story of redemption, part psychological thriller, part horror story, Sixth Sense takes us into the horrific world of Cole Sear (Osment), a young social outcast with the ability to see people who have died.
Now understand this: I consider myself a relatively astute movie-watcher. I do my best to pay attention to clues given in a movie, and at times I'm even able to actually predict lines of dialogue and sometimes even plot twists to some movies. Because of this, and knowing, through movie reviews I'd already read before watching the film, that there was a "surprise twist ending", I fully expected not to be surprised, stunned, or even scared.
Congratulations, M. Night Shyamalan. You have written and directed a movie that was suspenseful, wonderfully performed, and had me stunned -- hook, line, and sinker. And yes, I was surprised by the ending.
Bruce Willis stars as Malcolm Crowe, a child psychologist who was once one of the best in his field. On the night he receives an award for outstanding achievement, a former patient of his, now grown up (Donnie Wahlberg, if you can believe it), breaks into his house and shoots him. The following year, Dr. Crowe finds Cole, who suffers from similar symptoms as his failure did. A chance to redeem himself, it would seem, has presented itself -- until Cole reveals that he can see dead people. Then the story takes a dark and sinister turn.
I have to applaud both Willis and Osment for their performances in this movie. Willis is compassionate and largely lacking his trademarked smirk, and Osment has that air of melancholy that made him so perfect for Bogus and makes him work so beautifully here. He'll be one to watch in the future. The story, while slow-moving at the beginning, is so told that you kick yourself for not seeing the "surpise twist" sooner -- and yet, you never see it coming! Well, I know that was the case for me, anyway.
Supporting cast (Olivia Williams as Crowe's wife, and Toni Collette as Cole's mother) deserve their fair share of credit as well. Anna Crowe is convincingly cold and withdrawn (and you can't really tell why until the end -- boy, how I wish the reviewer's ethical code didn't prohibit me from spoiling the ending... that element alone hinder's my ability to adequately heap praise on Williams!), and Lynn Sears is so in love with her son that I had flashbacks to Annabella Sciorra's performance in The Cure.
Make-up effects teams must also take a bow for their work on the ghosts. You see, Cole's visions don't look like Patrick Swayze's Ghost -- these folks look dead. (The gunshot wound came as a particular surprise for the audience I viewed it with.) This one is definitely not for the faint of heart.
And then there's the end. Great stuff from Osment and Collette as they begin to bridge the gap that Cole's problem had created, and again from Willis and Williams as they stun the audience. (Okay, I'll shut up about the ending.)
The summer of 1999 has been full of surprises for this reviewer: The blockbusters have left the media limelight rather quickly, and it's the little guys who have entertained me most. (The Blair Witch Project, The Haunting, and this film spring immediately to mind.) For me, at least, it's the summer of the scare.
This movie is rated PG-13 for small amounts of language and some violent images.
SCORE: 9 -- Scary and engaging, this movie has all the makings of an excellent ghost story. Rewatchability factor may be slightly low, because once you know the secret, the effect won't be quite the same. Still, Osment and Willis make a terrific on-screen team, and the plot will keep you on the edge of your seat. Very highly recommended! Return to top
This movie is rated PG for adult themes and language.
SCORE: 9.9 -- Call me petty, but that profanity thing is just something I can't overlook from Joe. Still and all, if you only see one non-blockbuster, non-action packed movie this year, this is the one to see. (Hey, I like mindless movies as much as the next guy, but c'mon! Flickpeople cannot live on fluff alone!) MUST SEE!!! Return to top
This movie is rated R for graphic violence and language. Not appropriate for children.
SCORE: 9 -- Solid as a sequel can be with only a few reservations regarding characters. Plot twists are dominant, and if you're not careful, you'll miss something important, like who the killer is! Heh. Highly Recommended!Return to top
This movie is rated PG for violence and a little bit of language. That ugly monster couldn't have hurt the rating, either.
SCORE: 8 -- Not Joseph's best work, but still something he should be proud of. A highly entertaining movie. I had people looking at me in the theater, I was laughing so hard. Great special effects enhanced a not-bad script, though the story left a little to be desired. Recommended, but with a few reservations.
(See The Cure.)This movie is Rated R for strong language, one scene of graphic violence, and some disturbing sexual content, including rape. Inappropriate for children, or those easily upset by depictions of abuse .
SCORE: 7 -- Despite some wonderful acting and an engrossing plot, there were a couple of things that I just couldn't get past. The kids are terrific, though their part of the movie is a little disturbing, and the adult versions also did a great job. Kudos to Hoffman and DeNiro, who pulled off characters I was actually able to like. Recommended!